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Vacancy at Midnight

December 30, 2009

There is a void, tonight.


Yet, thirst.



And questions.

I look at my life,

and there are echos


off the vacant walls

of my psyche.

The desolate path

I am wandering

leads nowhere.

Purpose has vanished,

motivation has melted

into mandatory tasks.

I have pulled away

from my family,


I long to be alone.


To untangle the snarls

that remain.

The tasks of a housewife

piling up

while I withdraw.

It is dark outside.

Our Christmas Tree lights

still twinkle

in the reflection

of the dark glass.

A new year looms

ahead of me

with new demands

in neon


Everyone is in bed,

the house

draped in the

hushed silence

of sleep.

I am bone tired.

For no reason.

I have accomplished


in almost a week.

This darkness

that visits,

this abyss–

It will pass.

I am not sure

that anyone really

notices when I disappear.

Does this emptiness visit you as well?

How do you swim back to the surface?

  1. December 30, 2009 1:50 pm

    Aw chickie, who said you had to accompliash anything this past week? Nothing? Really? Look again at the pictures of your kids’ faces on Christmas and say that again. I give you a great big HUG.


  2. January 12, 2010 3:42 am

    So sorry it took me so long to make it back to the wide world of blogging! I’ve missed your writing.

    This poem is so lovely and real, and I know exactly how you felt while writing it. EXACTLY. But like Liz said, you have not accomplished nothing… just different kinds of something. And it will pass. (Hopefully it already has!)

    • January 12, 2010 10:37 am

      Liz’s comment helped it pass more quickly than I think it would have without it. Thank you for the wonderful empathy. It makes me fell a little less crazy, you know? I just feel bad that you have been *there* too. Live is too short to be there. Although, sometimes being there helps you move on to bigger and better things. 2010 has given me a new outlook, I love new beginnings! I have missed you being around too, has life settled down again for you?

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