Birthday x 2
Well, I didn’t get done with everything yesterday. I got about half way through my second classes tests and that was it. They will have to wait until Monday to get their tests back. I hate that. I remember being on pins and needles until I found out how I did on tests. I have ALWAYS gotten tests back by the next class period: LOSER.
Everything else seemed to get done, if not well, at least completed. I am still not feeling well, and I am so sick of coughing. Ugh. It is exhausting to cough all of the live long day. I wish it would just go away already!
Today is a special day. It is Katie and Nicholas’s birthday. I cannot believe that they are already EIGHT. Geez. That just seems so BIG. They loved their presents and all of the special food that was prepared just for them.
I can remember eight years ago just like it was yesterday. Waking up thinking I wet the bed, but really my water had broken. Gross. Waking Jeff up, calling the Doctor, calling my mom to come and stay with Sarah and my dog Ralphie. Going to the Hospital, and knowing what to expect. A luxury after being a rookie. Waiting in triage being all cocky…I knew my water broke! I had done this before! Sending Jeff home to get my pillow. (My mom was SHOCKED to see him!) Getting my epidural, and feeling awful. Why that nurse put my bed at an angle so my head was lower than the rest of my body I will never know. It just made my diaphragm go numb so I felt like I couldn’t breathe. When they finally put my head up, I was fine. The Doctor hanging out waiting for those twins to stop fighting. They were racing to get out, and they didn’t understand the concept of one baby at a time. They never stopped fighting, so into the OR we went for a C-section. Seeing Katie for the first time…oh, my goodness. And then seeing Nicholas (one minute later)…bliss. Nicholas was only half-baked so he went into the special care nursery and I went into recovery and Jeff went with Katie to get her bath. Everything was such a whirlwind then with family visiting, the entrance of Katie, and I never got to the special care nursery. I still feel guilt about that. They brought Nicholas to me in an incubator. I got to hold him for about five minutes before he was taken by ambulance to another hospital where they had a NICU. I didn’t see him again for four days. I can’t even really believe that. I wouldn’t be able to leave my EIGHT year old alone in a hospital for four days. But what was my choice? Jeff went to the hospital to see him every day, but he had to be in both places. With me recovering from surgery, and Katie with me….oh, it was hard. Plus, he was in the hospital for two weeks. And, yes, we left him. It boggles my mind now. Boggles. And the guilt. It is thick, and it will ALWAYS be thick. There were such long days with Katie sitting in her car seat, and Nicholas in my arms rocking him at the hospital. I couldn’t drive, so Jeff would drop me off, drop Sarah off at his parents, go to work, and then pick us all up after work…except Nicholas. He stayed. It breaks my heart. We are so lucky that he is fine and healthy with the exception of a little chronic lung disease and a touch of asthma. And they are both so precious. We are so blessed. I am glad they are eight. And I am so proud of them.