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Before the Sun Awakens

January 26, 2013

It is cold in Minnesota.  We have had the high of Zero Degrees Fahrenheit more than once this week.  I have been wearing my long-johns daily.  Right now I am still half way under my warm covers, but my arms are cold.  My shoulders are cold.  My nose is cold.  I hear my husband downstairs banging around in the kitchen.  He attempted to make English muffins last night and set them aside to rise overnight.  I am looking forward to breakfast.

I woke up anxious this morning.  Stomach tight  with worry.  I don’t have anything to worry about that is out of the ordinary, but sometimes it creeps in.  I want to pull the covers up over my cold, cold shoulders and stay here.  In bed.  Sleep.  Dream.  But already Katie has been in here twice.  I hear Nicholas down stairs with Jeff, talking too loud for the morning.

I see that the sun is lightening the sky beyond our big maple.  The sky is no longer black, but turning periwinkle.  The stray patches of snow glowing.

I have a long “to do” list…well, maybe not long, but time-consuming.  Jeff works this morning.  That makes it the perfect day to clean this disaster of a house.  The Christmas Tree.  It has been stripped of its ornaments for a month, but still stands tall in our living room with its lights twinkling in the darkness.  It needs to come down.  Today.  While Jeff is away.  It gives me a deadline if nothing else.  The rest of the house is just dismantled.  We all have been ignoring it.  Today it rises to the top of the list.  Maybe that will help the anxiety.

I will go into work at some point today as well.  I have a lot of copies to make, and I didn’t get them done yesterday.  My friend who shares my office is there all the time.  All. The. Time.  I am constantly trying to find some place else to work.  I love her and we are good friends.  But.  I don’t get ANY work done when she is there.  See above:  She is there ALL THE TIME.  I try to plan my extra trips when she is NOT there, but look!  There she is.  So, I went in yesterday to get all my copies done, and didn’t get it done.  Hardly got what I absolutely HAD to get done, done.  And I didn’t have time to go to a drop in training that I wanted to go to.  I am frustrated by this, but unwilling to jeopardize our friendship over it.  I think she is starting to get it (maybe).  She isn’t real keen on social cues.  I have said several times, “When will you NOT be here.  I am trying not to get in your way.”  Which means I am trying to get some WORK DONE.  But she has not figured out that it is a problem for me.  Yesterday, I think I even put it in the correct terms and said, “When you are here I would much rather talk to you and I don’t get any work done.”  She laughed.  Because I said it in a joking manner.  But, most people would pick up on that.  Anyway, I get to go in again today.  To try to make my copies and be ready for Monday.  Maybe I will guess right and she won’t be there?  She was last Saturday.

My classes have been loaded into our classroom portal.  I have printed out all the syllabi and handouts for this week.  I am going to get started today if my tree is down, house is clean and copies are made.  I am nervous about this.  It is different from Hamline University (where I have taken all of my post secondary/graduate classes).  There are actual POINTS assigned and little assignments that must be completed.  EVERYTHING has to be done in APA format.  Not just the end paper.  That is a lot of busy work.  I am excited too.  I am eager to learn everything, and I am eager to see how this all relates to my job.  I remember when I was beginning to be an elementary teacher and how the classes enriched my teaching.  I hope I have the same experience with these classes.

My application has been submitted.  Yikes.

Out my window, I now see the brightening morning.  The  sun still low on the horizon.  I smell English Muffins.  And here comes another kid to wish me good morning.

Happy Saturday to all of you.  What are you up to today?

  1. January 28, 2013 1:04 pm

    What a great post! I really like the description at the beginning, at the end. You tell us a story.

    I feel you about the shared office, and it being your friend. I’ve had that issue before. We actually came up with a schedule at one point, so we could have time when we overlapped, and time when we had the office to ourselves.

    And your coursework – so exciting! Can’t wait to hear more about what you’re learning.

    • February 21, 2013 2:31 pm

      It is getting much better. I think it was just that I couldn’t predict what was going to happen. It was different than last semester, when she was teaching when I got to school and I had that full 45 minutes alone in the office to prep. Now I know that I need to be ready before the morning. Then the stress melts away!

  2. January 28, 2013 1:15 pm

    P.S. APA isn’t too bad once you get used to it. I’ve found googling it will usually answer any 11th hour questions I have about stuff when I’m formatting papers. Also – if you’re going to be writing a lot of papers with references, using an electronic reference software like Endnote makes ALL the difference, as it does the formatting for you! (Or Zotero, which is a free one)

    • February 21, 2013 2:32 pm

      I haven’t checked these out yet, but it hasn’t been a problem. I just follow the examples. :)

  3. January 31, 2013 2:40 pm

    Oh, I loved this post. I am so behind and trying to catch up and having to steal quick minutes at the computer when I can kick kids off it. I miss blogging and you!

    • February 21, 2013 2:32 pm

      I MISS YOU LIZ! Quit being so busy!

  4. February 20, 2013 10:14 pm

    Any word on that job? Been thinking about you!

    • February 21, 2013 2:33 pm

      NO. I won’t hear anything until April when they start to set up the interviews. That is fine by me, I am trying not to think about it. It makes me feel slightly sick!

      How is your thesis coming along? Right on schedule? xo

      • February 27, 2013 10:21 pm

        I’m working on my thesis every night, and am as close to being on schedule as I’ve ever been… which means the end is truly just over the horizon!

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