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Losing Focus

June 6, 2014

My motivation is not great to begin with, but it is always worse during the days right after I get done teaching, and before the kids get done with school.  I have gone into work a few times, and I have done a few little things here and there…the laundry most notably, but I have started cleaning out little places.  Nothing that has made a noticeable difference, but I know that a few things are done.

It feels so much like wasting valuable time, no kids, no schedule, I dream about that when I am running hither and yon the rest of the year.  But something holds me back.  I think I just need to recuperate.  I need to rest, and play a little.  And completely veg-out.  I am still feeling exhausted by the time I start dinner.  I am still so tired.  I do have a good list going, and I have crossed a few things off!  Woot!  But not anywhere near the amount that I had planned before finals week.

It really bothers me.  A lot.

This is the time that I cherish, yet I feel guilty about it, and feel like I am squandering such a great opportunity.  I am mostly disappointed in myself.

Here is what I am proud of:  I have walked every ding-dang day this week.  Yay me!

Here is what I am grateful for:

  • Nicholas having his best friend over tonight for a sleep over.
  • Sarah’s ambition
  • Katie being willing to take a risk and join a traveling softball team in addition to her city league.
  • Having a long, leisurely lunch with my best friend today.  It doesn’t happen often enough.
  • Crossing several things off my list, and keeping up with putting things on my list as I think about them.
  1. June 7, 2014 2:12 am

    Those are such good things! Stop beating yourself up. Life is too short to beat yourself up. You do what yo can and enjoy what you can. HUGS!

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