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The end of the year

December 31, 2014

I received my wordpress email yesterday where they crunch all of the numbers from the stats of this poor, neglected blog.  I learned that I wrote 10 (ten) blog posts in 2014.  Five (5) of which were in one week in June.  I decided to make it eleven (11) today.

As I look out my window at the snow covered roof of my neighbor’s house, the trees all bare skeletons, the sun dappled through the branches, I am searching for words.  This year has had many ups and downs, just like every year.  But all of it is in the details.  The moments that speed by and often go unnoticed, or are forgotten, ignored, pushed aside.  The moment when I watch my father struggling to get into the front seat of my mother’s car on Christmas eve.  The moment when Nicholas skates ahead of all his teammates to rush on the goalie from “coast to coast.”  The moment when Sarah walks up to receive her award for academic excellence.  The moment when Katie sings, by herself, when she thinks nobody is listening and I am shocked by the beauty of her voice.  The moment when Jeff lets his guard down and I can see the boy that I fell in love with so many years ago.

That is what I love about reading blogs.  I love witnessing other people’s moments.  I love to wander around in the perspective of people I admire.  I love seeing the beauty in their lives, whether it be heartbreak, elation, or hum-drum-everyday routine.  I also love writing about the details.  Remembering to be present enough to notice the details.  Showing up at a blank screen and choosing words that will attempt to recreate those moments, for readers, but also for me when I scroll back and look at the moments of my life that are here.

This year.  Well.  This year.  Writing was not a priority, obviously.  But I am okay with that.  I did other things.  I finished my College Reading and Learning Certificate out of Cal State, while teaching full time and parenting three kids.  I helped move my parents into assisted living.  I cleaned out my own basement and main level…decluttered, threw a lot away, rearranged.  I wrote curriculum for a brand-spankin’-new course that I piloted this past semester.  I chauffeured children hither and yon, spending more time in my car than I care to think about.  I read a lot of articles, chapters and books.   I taught 18 credits worth of reading this fall.  I fed my family…reluctantly cooking dinner most nights.  I won an award for excellence in teaching from my colleagues.  (One of three people in my college.)  I did a little laundry every once in a while. I took a fabulous class called “The Magic of Myth” from Elizabeth. I graded thousands of papers.  I took Nicholas to a hockey tournament in Duluth, just he and I made the trip.

Basically, I showed up for my life.  I just didn’t write it down.  In retrospect, I wish I had the time to sit and reflect on all the moments.  They deserve to be preserved.  However, I refuse to let guilt creep in here.  I did all I could.  And sometimes watching Scandal is more cathartic than writing a blog post.  It is what I needed to do at the time.  Maybe in 2015 things will fall into place so I can write more.  There is a possibility of that, but I won’t know until the new semester begins.  My tummy is tumbling because of the uncertainty right now, but I am trying to accept any outcome, while hoping for the one I want!

Tomorrow we have the privilege of getting a whole new year.  We get to begin again.  Start over.  Keep on, keeping on.  My wish for you…if I even have any readers left out there…is to see the opportunities and choose to be happy.  Choose things that bring you joy, and choose the tribulations that are worth traveling through in order to find that joy again.  Sending love out there as we say good bye to 2014 and begin anew with 2015.  xo

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4 Comments
  1. January 1, 2015 2:57 pm

    What a wonderful post!! It sure seems like you have had a fantastic year… even if you weren’t writing, I didn’t feel like I was missing you because you are so amazing about showing up to comment on MINE! You make my day every time, you know. I hope 2015 is super for you and your family. Hugs and Happy New Year! XOXO

    • January 1, 2015 11:32 pm

      That is so weird, because you make my day too! I wish the same for you and your family…here’s to health, wealth, love, and happiness! xoxox

  2. January 5, 2015 5:24 am

    You’re a powerhouse, Meg! Just tell yourself that you weren’t blogging because you didn’t want to make the rest of us too self-conscious of our own non-super-humanness. :D Really, I’m in awe of everything you do. Wishing you the very happiest of new years… and perhaps one with a little less excitement? :)

  3. January 10, 2015 8:37 pm

    Not a powerhouse. Not even close! I just hope everyday to make it to bed before my engine completely runs out of gas. I live on fumes. Happy New Year to you too!! xoxoxox

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