A Half-Assed Holiday

Well.  It has been a long while since I have been around here.  It is interesting to see a couple of people peek in almost everyday anyway, even when I give them no reason to stop by at all…for over a month!

This “Holiday” Season has come and (almost) gone and I haven’t felt much holiday spirit at all.  Teaching three classes and caring for three children and shuttling said children to each event had proven to produce brain overload.  And then…THEN!  As I was clicking around furiously one night searching for something to procrastinate with  (where were all of you then?) I resorted to clicking on things that I usually don’t click on, and ended up on a whole new blog.  That was riveting.  The stories were not for the faint at heart, but were told in such a way that I wanted to keep reading.  That is HUGE, because usually anything that comes remotely close to abuse of little girls sends me screeching into next week because I always put my own daughters in that place.  If you have ever read Bye, Bye Pie and read the comments (which I tend to do intermittently because it could be a full time job keeping up over there) then you may recognize a fellow commenter Siren.  I randomly clicked on her link and was ensconced in her lovely writing and her brave, brave life for two weeks.  She is an amazing young woman.  If you have two full weeks to fill, then I totally recommend heading over there to read her blog from the beginning.  Be sure to find a comfy spot to sit though, you will be there a while.  Perhaps not as long as my slow reading self, and perhaps you are not so obsessive that you NEED to read every. single. post.  whether you have been on a “forum” or not, but I am so glad I did it.  (My family, however, may or may not be as glad as I am, although they may be glad I have finally finished!)

Anyway, Christmas was good here in Minnesota despite not having any snow.  We had to sing “I am dreaming of a brown Christmas” just so we would feel like our dreams came true.  I did a little Christmasing (I know, that isn’t a real word) the weekend before finals but most of the preparations happened after December 16th.  I was a flurry of activity even if there were no flurries to keep me company.  (Not that I minded.)  Instead of wrapping gifts this year I took the easy way out and cut that corner:  I used gift bags.  My whole family uses gift bags and I am a saver so I have A LOT of bags that I have saved through out the years.  I can’t believe how fast and easy the wrapping was this year.  My sister did all the shopping for my parents and aunts and grandma (so I am indebted to her for life now) which might be why the wrapping seemed easier as well.  Our Christmas cards were sent out on December 23 and 24, so they were late, but done.  And the cookies?  Well.  We finished them up the night before we needed to deliver them to teachers.  Everything was rushed and compacted into one week.  My kids didn’t seem to mind.

We, as you know, celebrate with our own little five person family on December 23.  We had homemade lasagna for dinner in the dining room and then opened our presents.  Katie and Sarah got sick and were taking turns looking miserable.  (Thank goodness it was NOT the stomach flu.)  It was a low-key night.  Christmas Eve we trek on over to my parents house for the night of chaos.  My mom literally had a garbage bag for each kid filled with crap.  These garbage bags were decorated with Christmas scenes, but still:  garbage bags.  They had a blast.

Santa came on Christmas morning and then Jeff’s parents came over for dinner Christmas evening to once again open more presents.  I was so glad when we were done so we could start putting stuff away.

But Sarah and Katie were still miserable.  Katie’s fever was not going away and Sarah’s cough was getting worse.  The doctor’s office was closed on Monday so we went in on Tuesday.  Sarah had bronchitis and Katie had pneumonia.  We got medicine and spent the rest of the week in our pajamas.  Nicholas had Hockey every day last week which that was the extent that I was out of the house.  I was the driver.  (This went well with my sitting reading a new blog.)

Jeff and I skipped our annual dinner out on New Year’s Eve, but all of us made it to midnight this year.  We had Chinese food for dinner, played games and watched a movie.  We saw the ball drop and then waited another hour for our local countdown.  When that was over it was right to bed, and it was very anticlimactic.

Yesterday, Nicholas had a game so we had one of his hockey buddies over and then took a road trip to the game.  They won and Nicholas scored a goal!

Today we are doing our New Year’s celebration with a fire in the fire place, party mix and snacks and a variety of meat balls for dinner.  We are also having play dates all over the place because the kids go back to school tomorrow.  I find out tomorrow what my schedule will be, and if I still have any classes (enrollment is very low) I go back to school on Friday.

Wow.  This re-cap is fast and furious.  Sorry.  I need to start making the party mix!  I promise I will work on getting caught up with all of your postings next!  I hope you all had a great holiday!  Happy New Year!

xo

Roses on Thanksgiving

 

Roses.  They are my favorite, and yes, I know that I am original.  When I was at the grocery store this week, and I was there a lot, I couldn’t help notice these gorgeous colors.  Perfect for my table, aren’t they?  I keep looking at them and going over to bury my nose in their soft sweet petals.

I hope all of you had a wonderful thanksgiving.  We had a turkey:

And a Katie on the side, so it seems.  She is the only one of my kids that will actually eat the turkey.  It is safe to say, that none of my kids really enjoy the food of Thanksgiving.  They are unlike their parents, and most of America.  I love Thanksgiving.  Love.  It is the only holiday that is left alone.  There doesn’t seem to be much commercialism about this wonderful holiday that is all about gratitude and family.  The time is what is celebrated, and the people, and our blessings.

We host Thanksgiving for Jeff’s parents.  My sister is in town, but she and her family host her in-laws as well.  My parents are in California for the month of November.  I can’t remember how long we have been hosting, but I think it is around four years, maybe five, so it seems to have a routine to it now.  I cook.  I make the mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, stuffing, fresh green beans, and the scalloped corn.  I slice the apples and wash the grapes (the globe grapes that are only around for the holidays, yum).  I make the caramel dip and arrange the cheese platter.  I put the crackers in a basket, decorate the table, make sure we have drinks, gravy, olives, gross canned jellied cranberries.  I break open the crescent rolls and roll them up and try to remember to put them in the oven.  I buy the napkins, and the paper plates for the hors d’oeuvres and the pie.  What I don’t do:  TURKEY.  I leave that to our resident expert, who happens to be my husband.  He is outstanding.

We have several traditions on Thanksgiving.  The first is that we stay in our pajamas in the morning.  I begin early barking orders for the people under 40 to clean up their junk that has spread itself around the house.  They sit and watch the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade and color their “Oh you turkey” coloring contest that the Minneapolis StarTribune does every year.  Jeff runs to the store to buy two more papers so each kid gets one.  I bring the card table upstairs and put out a jigsaw puzzle.  Then I get to work.  I try to do as much as possible before Thanksgiving.  This year I had little time, so I only got the mashed potatoes, stuffing and scalloped corn done ahead of time.  I began with the sweet potatoes and went on from there.  This is the first year that I had everything done (including getting myself ready!) well before my in-laws arrived.  I actually got to start on the puzzle!  It might be because Sarah wanted to help, so I had her set the table, and snap the beans, and make place cards.  She also wanted to put out the Thanksgiving poems, so I printed them for her and she cut them out and scattered them on the table.

It was a lovely day.  The food was good, and all went well.  We have so much to be Thankful for.  What a brilliant idea to devote a day to gratitude.  I just want all of you out there to know, I am so very thankful for you, you and your friendship.  You, and your insightful posts that make me a better person.  Thank you, from the bottom of my heart.

SNOW!

Well.  We have been in denial here in the upper mid-west.  It is rare not to have one quick snow that sticks for a few minutes in October, and if not common, it is at least possible to begin our winter before Halloween.  My birthday is November 12, as you all know.  I only remember very few times that winter HADN’T started before my birthday.  This is another one of those years.

When I was little, really little, like before Kindergarten, I remember it snowing for the first time that year on my birthday.  I was sitting by the French doors in the living room, my face turned upwards to see the fat sticky snowflakes falling down to the grass.  I remember telling my mom that God gave me a birthday present!  And every year after that, I wished for that same present.  But it always came before my birthday.  This year, was no different, except that Katie and Nicholas now wish it for their birthday.  So when their day came and went, I thought maybe….but no.  Yesterday it was 50 degrees and I chose to walk outside to my car from my office.

And today….Winter.

It is snowing fast and furious.  Like someone has been blocking the door and then right when winter decided to throw itself against it…opened it at the last second.  Sarah shoveled that entire patio that is pictured up there, and now…you wouldn’t think she shoveled at all.  Look:

 

And I swear I just took that last one.  The first one I took right before I started typing this post.  I am glad I don’t have to go out today.  Tomorrow will be a different story though.  I need to go and gather the fixin’s for Thanksgiving.  Good lord.  I have SO MUCH TO DO.

Sorry I totally blew the whole post every day in November thing.  I just can’t.  I really did try.  I am still fighting the battle of the bugs, which is fun.  But, it is also life.  I know it really does take two weeks, I just really didn’t want it to take that long.  Wish me luck as I try to get my house ready, get my grades up to date, plan out the rest of the semester, while doing sheets, and heads, and cleaning daily.  UGH.

How are all of you?  Do you have plans for Thanksgiving?

Forty-Two.

I cannot believe I have been a “blogger” for TWO years.  I know that I am still a rookie compared to most of you, but TWO years seems like a long time to me.  I still feel like a rookie though.  I still have to work at showing up here.  I still have to work at what to write.  I still have to work at EVERYTHING when I think of my blogging life.  I am so grateful to all of you who show up here and leave me a comment.  It makes me feel connected and loved.  I know that is weird, but it does.

So, it is my birthday again.  I think this might go down as the worst birthday EVER.  But let’s start with the good things:

1. I slept well for the first time in a week last night.  I didn’t wake up and cough for two hours.  I just slept.  Yay!
2. Facebook friends have been so kind to my non-facebook self.  I hardly ever, ever go on facebook anymore, so I have missed more birthdays than I care to admit.  Yet, all of these wonderful wishes filled my inbox today.  It really made my day.
3. Yoga was wonderful this morning.  She focused on opening our hips today, which is my strength, so I felt strong, confident and competent.  There are other classes where I feel the opposite, but my hips are already open…(Huh, did that sound as bad as I think?  If so, I am not as slutty as it sounded.)
4. Nicholas got his haircut.  He had hockey and had to miss his last appointment.  We were ready to use his head as a mop.  Now you can actually see his eyes.
5. I had a lovely lunch from a mom & pop deli that is by our hair-cut place.  It was yummy.
6. I got to go out to dinner at my all-time favorite restaurant:  Piazza’s.  When I was little, my parents used to take us to a restaurant downtown Minneapolis called DiNapoli’s.  It was my favorite.  I always went down a large staircase to the bathroom which had a sitting room attached to play when we went there, and their Baked Mostaciolli was delish.  As I grew up, I decided to taste their Manicotti…I fell in love.  When Jeff and I started dating we continued to dine there as many times as I could get him to go.  It also became my birthday restaurant.  When I was in the hospital after the twins were born Jeff drove downtown and picked up manicotti for me and we ate a picnic in my hospital room.  So, when they closed DiNapoli’s several years ago, I was heartbroken.  So much so, I went right up to the owner to tell him how sad I was.  He informed me of his brother’s restaurant in Golden Valley.  We checked it out, and it has the SAME food.  So my birthday dinner lives on!
7. I got another gift card to the apple store to add to the ones I am saving for a laptop!
8. I got Godiva chocolates!  YUM!
9. Sarah made me a very sweet card.

And now for the bad:

1. Jeff had to work this morning, so no special breakfast, which is our tradition.
2. Had to go to Dance and to get kids haircuts, and to pick up Nicholas from hockey…run….run….run….
3. At the hair-cut place, Nicholas was finished, and Katie had her hair washed when the woman who has cut my hair since I was 3 years old says to me, Meg….as she is combing Katie’s hair.  I knew before she said anything else:  LICE.  AAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!
4. I spent an ungodly amount of money at Walgreens buying lice crap.
5. I spent the time in between the non-existent haircut time and picking up Nicholas treating kid’s with NIX, and NIT PICKING.  Not to mention LIVE BUG PICKING.  EWW.
6. I spent the time in between getting Nicholas, and Jeff getting home treating kid’s hair and NIT PICKING.  All three kids had live bugs, but Katie is the one who is really infested.  Poor kid.  She was so embarrassed and sad.
7. After dinner I have spent my time doing laundry, making up beds, and ITCHING MY HEAD.  I don’t think I have it, I have had everyone check it, including my gal who cuts our hair.  I am STILL ITCHY.
8. Tomorrow will be more of the same:  Clean….Clean…..Clean…..Kids shower, Nit Pick….Nit Pick…..Nit Pick.
9. I still haven’t gotten those damn tests corrected.
10. I am tired and I want to go to bed, but I need the towels to be ready and hanging up before that can happen.
11. I am still coughing!!  UGH.
12. So there.  Next year has to be better!
13. Nobody sang to me.
14. I didn’t have cake.  (But it was my choice.)  It was Katie & Nicholas’s cake.

I am so overwhelmed.  And tired.  And did I mention overwhelmed?  Because that is what I am,  Overwhelmed!

Birthday x 2

Well, I didn’t get done with everything yesterday.  I got about half way through my second classes tests and that was it.  They will have to wait until Monday to get their tests back.  I hate that.  I remember being on pins and needles until I found out how I did on tests.  I have ALWAYS gotten tests back by the next class period:  LOSER.

Everything else seemed to get done, if not well, at least completed.  I am still not feeling well, and I am so sick of coughing.  Ugh.  It is exhausting to cough all of the live long day.  I wish it would just go away already!

Today is a special day.  It is Katie and Nicholas’s birthday.  I cannot believe that they are already EIGHT.  Geez.  That just seems so BIG.  They loved their presents and all of the special food that was prepared just for them.

I can remember eight years ago just like it was yesterday.  Waking up thinking I wet the bed, but really my water had broken.  Gross.  Waking Jeff up,  calling the Doctor, calling my mom to come and stay with Sarah and my dog Ralphie.  Going to the Hospital, and knowing what to expect.  A luxury after being a rookie.  Waiting in triage being all cocky…I knew my water broke!  I had done this before!  Sending Jeff home to get my pillow.  (My mom was SHOCKED to see him!)  Getting my epidural, and feeling awful.  Why that nurse put my bed at an angle so my head was lower than the rest of my body I will never know.  It just made my diaphragm go numb so I felt like I couldn’t breathe.  When they finally put my head up, I was fine.  The Doctor hanging out waiting for those twins to stop fighting.  They were racing to get out, and they didn’t understand the concept of one baby at a time.  They never stopped fighting, so into the OR we went for a C-section.  Seeing Katie for the first time…oh, my goodness.  And then seeing Nicholas (one minute later)…bliss.  Nicholas was only half-baked so he went into the special care nursery and I went into recovery and Jeff went with Katie to get her bath.  Everything was such a whirlwind then with family visiting, the entrance of Katie, and I never got to the special care nursery.  I still feel guilt about that.  They brought Nicholas to me in an incubator.  I got to hold him for about five minutes before he was taken by ambulance to another hospital where they had a NICU.  I didn’t see him again for four days.  I can’t even really believe that.  I wouldn’t be able to leave my EIGHT year old alone in a hospital for four days.  But what was my choice?  Jeff went to the hospital to see him every day, but he had to be in both places.  With me recovering from surgery, and Katie with me….oh, it was hard.  Plus, he was in the hospital for two weeks.  And, yes, we left him.  It boggles my mind now.  Boggles.  And the guilt.  It is thick, and it will ALWAYS be thick.  There were such long days with Katie sitting in her car seat, and Nicholas in my arms rocking him at the hospital.  I couldn’t drive, so Jeff would drop me off, drop Sarah off at his parents, go to work, and then pick us all up after work…except Nicholas.  He stayed.  It breaks my heart.  We are so lucky that he is fine and healthy with the exception of a little chronic lung disease and a touch of asthma.  And they are both so precious.  We are so blessed.  I am glad they are eight.  And I am so proud of them.

What is on my mind today

Birthdays…Katie and Nicholas

Baking cakes

Buying presents

Baking scones for breakfast tomorrow

Planning their party

 

Work

Correcting Tests

Planning next unit

Must be done with both by 10 AM tomorrow

 

Kids activities

Play practice

Hockey practice

Rescheduled haircuts that were supposed to happen today

 

Blog

Missed yesterday

Went to bed at 9:30

Can’t stop coughing

 

House

Is in shambles

Starting to get to me…I can ignore a lot

 

Time

NEED MORE!

 

What is on your mind?

THIS is today’s post

Okay.  I am kind of ticked off that I didn’t get my post up in time to be for yesterday.  It was before I went to bed, so it should count as Sunday’s post!!  Just because I actually went to bed at 2:30 AM, well, that is a moot point.  The great part is that I was completely up to date with student work and with grades.  I had a few blissful hours where I knew I didn’t owe anyone anything.  I had time to actually look at my lesson plans that were wilting from lack of attention.  Only for the morning, but hey it is better than nothing.  I will be giving the unit test tomorrow and Wednesday, which is good because I barely got through my three straight hours of teaching without coughing out a lung.  I am IRKED that I have another cold.  I just got over one!  It is so unfair.

I already miss daylight savings time.  It gets dark so early now, which is just depressing.  The moon is bright and big right now so that is a plus, I don’t know if it is waxing or waning.  At least there is some light in the sky.  It just makes me want to go to bed.  Now when we are running hither and yon it will be in the dark.  Sarah auditioned for a part in the high school play last week and got a part.  Our busy schedule just got bumped up to light speed, but she is over that big old moon out there.  It is a wonderful opportunity for her as well, and I think she will love it.  At least I hope so.  The production is It’s a Wonderful Life.  We need to watch the movie so she can see what she is going to be immersed in for the next month.  I am just amazed at all the things my kids have access to that wasn’t even on the radar when I was a kid.  It is so hard to limit them.  My rationalization is that it is only one month of CRAZY.  We can do anything for a month, right?  Sarah is in the school play for her school too, and that production will be on Dec. 20.  So she has practice for two different plays, which equals out to play practice Monday-Thursday.  Then on Friday she has some Math Club thing.    Tuesdays she goes to play practice after school, I drive the twins to choir, then drive to school to get Sarah, then drive back to choir to drop her off.  And then, of course, there is dance on Saturday mornings for the girls and Hockey on Saturday and Sunday and usually once during the week for Nicholas.  I haven’t even mentioned Scouts which all of my kids are involved in….GEEZ.  I don’t know how I have time to work!  Thank goodness the play business is short term.  The rest is do-able.

I had a pretty good day today.  We went over the prologue for The Book Thief in class.  They were supposed to tell me who the narrator is for the book.  It was so difficult for them.  I am not sure how they are going to do on this test.  It is making me nervous.  How are they going to get through English Comp. if they can’t make inferences?  And, I can model until the cows come home, if they don’t have the background knowledge, they aren’t going to get it.  It is fairly depressing.  We’ll see how they do on the test.

I can’t believe we haven’t had one snowflake fall here yet.  Not that I am complaining.  I am enjoying the mild weather.  I just hope we don’t have to pay for it later.

I am just babbling, so I think I will end my blah, blah, blah, blah.

Work (Sun)day

I have worked since I got up this morning.  I have not gotten dressed.  I have not left the house.  The only breaks I have had were to feed my children and myself, and I read a couple of blogs as a reward.  Only after I deemed Halloween Candy off-limits.

Here are all of my accomplishments:

On the left is my “done” pile, on the right is my “to do” pile

The rubric that was created to aid in my correcting

I also updated two out of three gradebooks on their online webpage.  And I have been fielding emails from students all day too.

I am so excited to get right back to it!  I just needed to post before it is tomorrow.  I am *almost done* with my correcting.  Then I can enter the grades for the last class!  Whooo Hooooo!  I wish there were more than one Sunday a week.  No other responsibilities, just work.  Catch up.  Feel relieved to get all that stuff back to the students.

Hope your Sunday included SOME fun.  What was your biggest accomplishment?

Today

Today is partly cloudy with a pale, pale blue sky peeking out of the overcast sky.

Today is windy, the trees that have been holding on to their leaves have given up hope, and the skeleton fingers of the others wiggle their tips at you.

Today I am tired.

Today I went to yoga,  and:  ouch.  I am tight.

Today I went grocery shopping so we will be nourished for dinner:  summer squash, onion and potato tacos.

Today I was the first one up, and had to sneak back to my bedroom with the dog so we wouldn’t wake anyone else.

Today lacks motivation.

Today Sarah and Katie had dance, and Nicholas had hockey.

Today I left the two girls alone while Jeff drove me to pick up my newly fixed car.

Today my muscles are sore.

Today Jeff and Nicholas went to a boy scout event and Nicholas got to shoot a bb gun.  I don’t like it.

Today the air seems warm, it is almost 60 degrees F.

Today my throat is scratchy and sore, but I still feel okay.  I hope it doesn’t blossom into real sickness.

Today I wish I could curl up with a great book, like one of the National Book Award finalists, instead of with papers that need correcting.

Today, the time is slipping quickly away.

Today is the last day of day-light-savings time.

Today Jeff raked the entire back yard.

Today I sent my kids to the park by themselves…which freaks me out.

Today I meant to get so much more done than I have.

Today I want to feel loved.

Today I have been craving music.  I have tuned into The Rolling Stones, Billy Squier, and Alanis Morrisette.

Today I wish my friends still all lived close by, like when I was a kid.

Today I have seen beauty in the leaves swirling in the wind.

Today has potential.

Today has been a pretty good day.

 

How is your day going?

Life is just a fantasy…

The dog is scratching on the sliding glass door.  The pizza is in the oven.

Jeff and Nicholas are on a double date with one of Nicholas’s hockey friends and his dad.  They are on their way to the Gopher Hockey Game.

The girls are down in the basement playing loudly.

I am sitting in the dark with the light of the computer reflecting off my cheeks.

My brain is full.  I have so much to do this weekend, yet I have no motivation to start.

I am excited that I have scored two courses for next semester, and I am planning on doing some personal research as well, but this semester seems like it is flying by so fast…I can’t keep up.

Sometimes, I like to create the perfect life in my mind.  Do you ever do that?  Do you ever think about what it would look like?  I think the only difference from that wish to reality is that time would not be a factor, and possibly I would not need sleep.  Or, is that the same?  I suppose if time was as slow or as long or whatever as I would like it, I could sleep too.  So, let me revise:  Time and unlimited energy.  There.  Perfect.  Oh, and the $$$ to do stuff I want to do, since we are living in fantasy.  That would do it, don’t you think?  Then I could do all the things that go undone, and still have time for writing and reading, playing and working, knitting and crocheting, visiting with friends and working on my house, and maybe even being more creative.

I like to build the perfect house in my mind too.  This is a complete fantasy, because if such a house existed it would probably be structurally unsound, and impossible to build.  Plus, I don’t like HUGE houses where I can’t hear what my kids are doing, but there seems to be a room for every whim in my fantasy.  I can take whole car rides and plan away…where the pool would be, what kind of pool house it would have to accompany it.  Where the orchard would be in our yard…how to plant the raspberries so you could reach all of them without losing and arm to the prickles.  How the attic would look…. Oh, it is such a great escape.  I know that I should write down some parts of the fantasy that are not so outlandish…believe me there are parts that are outlandish…self cleaning KITCHENS, for example.  But I should write down the rational ones.  Maybe some pieces could come together to make my life a little more of my ideal.

What are your fantasies?  (I am only interested in the non-dirty variety here…so get your minds out of the gutter.)  I want to hear what your perfect lives would look like.

Crabby.

I almost forgot I had to post today!  So, here I am just under the wire.

Today was a pretty good day.  I got enough sleep last night, which really helped.  And it also wasn’t a choice.  My body just sort of shut down.  I feel asleep during Modern Family.  Who does that?  It was all good, because I woke up feeling so much better.  But the aftermath of walking around like a zombie was waiting for me.  My kids were getting ready at the same time that I was, and Katie was about to get into the shower when Sarah yelled up stairs, “Katie!  Katie!  Do you want pumpkin bread for lunch today?!”  And I asked Katie why Sarah was asking her that.  “Because, Mommy.  We have to bring our lunch to school today,” she said.  I had forgotten that, so we had no lunch meat for lunch.  Luckily, I was almost ready for school.  So, I ran to the grocery store before work and the kids got their lunches packed.  I hate it when I forget stuff.  They didn’t really say anything to me about it, but it just makes me feel bad.  Thank goodness I had time to run and get their food and make it right.

School went fine.  My first class paid attention well and participated well, except for the two students who never participate.  We are studying Inference right now, and it can be difficult.  They seem to be understanding the material.

My next class was my noon class.  I think there is just something wacky about noon classes in general.  I can’t really put my finger on why, but they are just wacky.  I did the same activity that I did with my first class, but got hassled because I assigned exercises that had them practice figuring out the meaning of figurative language, and I wasn’t going to collect it.  Whoever said, “So, you mean we did all that work for no reason?” Didn’t really understand what kind of trigger that statement was.  So, I got a bit….crabby.  Sometimes my students are so frustrating.  I understand, and even remember, that everything in college is about points and credit.  But, I remember having a lot of homework that was never turned in for credit.  It was practice, so you could learn the material.  I am sure whoever said that regrets it now.  Because I sort of went off.  Beginning with “I need to talk to you about this…and I am irritated with those of you who are talking when I am talking.  It is rude and I am done.”  I went on to try and explain what my thinking was.  If I would have collected these exercises, most of it would have been wrong.  I would have spent hours correcting, writing in the correct answers, giving feedback, which 90% of them would ignore anyway.  This way, they had an opportunity to talk about their answers.  To puzzle through the hard ones together, and to ask me to help them if they couldn’t figure it out.  Ugh.  I don’t like getting crabby, but I really think that they don’t get it.  They are going to get professors that assign all their homework and don’t collect it.  The grades are based on a mid-term and a final.  I hope I was calm enough outwardly so that they listened and understand what I was trying to say.

In other news, I am tired.  I am going to bed now.  I will spare you on any other boring aspects of my life…  Good Night.

Chasing Passion

Crap.  Today is my sister-in-law’s birthday.  Guess who is behind on sending the card….ME.  Another thing on the list!

I did not correct my big stack of homework last night.  Instead I prepared for my Guest Lecture in a Children’s Literature class.  It was lovely leaving my house while it was still dark outside.  Leaving the crabby, tired children to their father.  The campus was quiet.  I got a great parking spot.  It was peaceful.  I made my copies and looked over my notes and tried not to feel nervous.

It was SO FUN.  It was so great to talk about what I am truly passionate about:  Emergent Literacy.  The students were attentive and asked a few questions, but they were much quieter than my students.  I rambled on and (of course) ran right out of time before I had a chance to show them the books that I had brought with me.  The heavy books….  But that didn’t even matter.  I had a great time!  It really did make me miss teaching kindergarten.  I love my job now, but there is something about getting to teach it first.  Virgin readers are the best.  You get to see all of the light bulbs going off in their wee little brains, and the excitement is contagious.  Fifty minutes was definitely not long enough.  Wouldn’t it be great if *someday* I could teach teachers how to teach reading?  That is a college course, right?  That would be a BLAST.  I think I would still miss those kindergartners though.

So, I was up until 2:30, and I got up at 6.  I am a little worn out.  Sleepy.  Lethargic.  I got home from work and got right into my pajama pants.  I feel cozy and want to take a nap.  Too bad three rambunctious children will be home in NINE MINUTES.

What is your passion?  Do you find that you are feeding it in your job?  Do you feed it in your hobbies?  Do you ignore it?  I can’t wait to hear all about it!

***The pictures of my babies and books…Sarah reading to her dolls (top), Katie stacking her favorites (middle), and Nicholas pointing at you (bottom) .**

Peer Pressure is ALIVE

 

It is 11:43 PM.  I have finished correcting the tests that I must hand back tomorrow.  I have gathered the books that I will share at my guest lecture at 8:00 AM tomorrow.  I came to the computer to (1) print out another page for my gradebook and (2) print out my lesson plan that I used for my parent class on beginning readers.  I have a HUGE stack of grading that I really want to get done tonight, so I can hand it back tomorrow.  At least three hours worth.  And I have to be up by 6:00 tomorrow morning to be at school at 7:00.

Why am I here?  Because Liz made me come.  She has decided to blog every day in November.  Then she PULLED OUT A GUN and is forcing me to do the same.  This is on the heels of Christina trying to force me to be CREATIVE for FIFTEEN WHOLE MINUTES everyday.  Geez.

I would be lying if I said that I have not had ANY free time since I blogged last.  But I have not come here, I have napped.  I have watched TV and vegged out.  I have done a bit of painting with my kids.  I have tried my hardest to stay up to date with my blog reading/commenting.  But, mostly, I have tried to stay caught up at work.  Halloween put a damper on my motivation.  I had to attend to my own kids for a bit.

We had a great Halloween, that followed all of our traditions:  Pumpkin Bread for breakfast…YUM.  I went to the school parade to see all of the kid’s costumes, which I love.  Jack-o-Lantern pizza for dinner, then TRICK-OR-TREATING.  I love that!

I was talking to one of my colleagues today as we were walking in to school about Halloween.  It is really the last “community” holiday that lives on.  We visit all of our neighbors, and our neighbors visit us as well.  There are unwritten rules that are passed down from generation to generation:  if the light isn’t on, we leave that house alone.  Look for the Jack-o-lanterns, they are your invitations!  The candy is great, but I think it is just in the background.  It is the dressing up, and visiting that is the fun of it.  At night, when it is a little spooky, the cool autumn air giving you goose bumps.  It is just really wonderful.  I am so glad that our over-commercialized culture hasn’t totally ruined this holiday, for our neighborhood at least.  It is sort of going into the past to be out there ringing the doorbells and hearing echoes of “TRICK-OR-TREAT!!”

What do you think?  Is this your experience with Halloween?

Oh, and if I have to do this, so do you.  Start today even if it is a day late now.  I began this post on November first so it still counts, right?

For the LOVE of Autumn

Guess what happened?!

It turned into OCTOBER.

I can’t believe how fast time flies when you have no time to watch it stroll on by.  The leaves are turning, and unfortunately are not as brilliant as they were last year.  It has been windy as all get out and so there has been raking here at our house.  Mostly to get a pile to jump into, but I think my husband has thoughts of disposal.  The good news is that I have purchased the Halloween costumes already so I don’t have to run frantically from store to store the week before the big day.

Since I have no great things to embark on you today,  I will give you an entry from my journal that I pulled out on Wednesday night.  Gosh, it felt good to write again!  Enjoy…

Wednesday October 5, 2011

I love the light in the Fall.  The way the still green trees reflect its radiance.

Though, I love even more how the tree leaves that have turned and even have fallen–absorb the light and make everything look soft and muted.

The colors are bold; almost loud, but the light makes them calm–so they don’t shout, but whisper, in a commanding essence.

The air can caress you in the fall; softly bringing goosebumps upon your shoulders.  It makes you bring a sweater everywhere you go.

But, at high noon the sun showing off its power can warm your face and make you want to lie down and soak up its long, strong rays.

It seems like an emergency, because just last week you had to scrape the windows of your car before work–so now in the warmth, with your sweater in the bottom of your bag, it feels necessary to consume as much of the warm sunshine as possible.

And then, at dusk, despite your love of flip-flops, you are relieved to feel the cool caress of Autumn who was patiently waiting for sunset to kiss your cheek again.

These days, where dusk comes ever earlier, are intoxicating–almost like the feeling of falling in love.

The Bad Blogger

Man, I am a bad blogger.  I think about this space so often.  Almost as often as I think about all the books I wish I were reading.  And about the towel I would like to be knitting.  And (this is a lie, I am sure, that I am telling myself) how I would like to start running again.  (Stop laughing!)  There are so many little things that I am sure that I have forgotten that should be here, being remembered forever.  But, alas, all I have been doing is correcting student work.  I need to change that.  This weekend I have been a rebel and have been ignoring my responsibilities.  This is my last hurrah, so to speak, before that last batch of tests will be corrected, and that pre-test quiz for vocabulary.  Only two things.  But still.

So, my last post, I talked about my classes and my adjustment.  I will spare you on that today.  Let’s just say that I love having my kids back in school.  But my organizational skills are still not up to par.  Let’s just say that this new unit is not really planned, and I am feeling the stress of that.  And let’s just say that I don’t care right now.  You can only go on eating, sleeping and breathing your job for so long before you just can’t anymore.  This weekend is my break.  I slept for almost a full eight hours last night and woke up with my back hurting because I had been in bed so long.  But the sleep…Ahhhh.

And I forgot to say that I love my students.  They are (for the most part) engaged and wanting to learn.  I have had more “A’s” on the first test than I feel comfortable with.  I am thinking that it might be too easy.  I looked back at last semester and I had a normal range of A through F’s, but one of my classes had 14 A’s this semester!  I guess I have just become a fantastic teacher!!  (HA!)  So, they must study.  That is my theory.  (I will have to revisit my rigor with this test, but it covers what I taught, and has an application portion.  I may just have to peak at what others are testing.)  I want to love it though.  In my heart of hearts I want all of my students to get A’s.  That is my goal!  And they did VERY well this first unit.

In other news and other aspects of my life (yes, I do have children, and a husband, and friends…) everything is getting into a routine.  It is a busy routine with soccer 4-5 week-nights, and choir on Tuesdays.  With a trip to Valley Fair last weekend and then the aftermath of that experience.  (Suffice it to say that I still love roller coasters, but I am old.  And the recovery time is long.)  Katie, who has always been very nervous about carnival rides surprised us all by going on the most scary and fast ones.  Mostly because she didn’t want to wait for Jeff and I, it was scarier for her to be left for two minutes with the Valley Fair workers than to ride the Renegade roller coaster.  We forced all of our children to go on the High Roller as well, because we are good parents that way.  They all liked it.  I am sure we will be asked to go to Valley Fair again next summer.

Jeff has had a birthday (Aug. 29th).  Last night we finally went for our last dinner celebration with his parents.  So he has had a long celebration.  We have been so busy that we have had to take what we can get!  We have also celebrated our 19th wedding anniversary (September 12th).  We have yet to go out, but my husband brought home Pizza Luce for dinner, so even if we don’t have a date to celebrate, we had exceptional pizza.  The mashed potato pizza is my favorite, but he also brought home “The Bear” which is pepperoni, sausage, Canadian bacon, and possibly chicken.   It was outstanding.

My kids have had a great start to their school years.  They all love their teachers, and so do I.  Sarah looped with her teacher this year, so she has the same teacher in the same room with the same class.  It has been great for her.  She walked into the classroom with no preliminary “here’s how my classroom works” time and jumped right into academics.  Which she loves.  She loves that she has the same friends in her class, and when she talks it is like she is talking about her second family.  They are tight.

Our weather, as always, is crazy.  Last Tuesday it was 90 degrees.  We were feeling it because it had been a consistent 80 for a while.  The next day it was 70, and then that night, it was suddenly November.  Frost and freezing.  The soccer field was windy and Brrrrrr.  I had to wear my winter jacket.  I finally caved last night and turned on the HEAT.  Really?  I had to put SOCKS on.  This is not okay with me.  I have heard rumors that the 80′s will return, so I have kept my flip-flops handy.  I am crossing my fingers.  It is raining right now, which is good, we haven’t had rain in a long while.  It also helps so I can “get to work” after this!

Next weekend begins the apple picking season.  We will be going to Farmer Bills and stealing food from him, and then going to see the baby cows and have them suck on our fingers with their sand-papery tongues.  I can’t wait!  We are bringing him the apple tree that I got Jeff for father’s day.  He couldn’t find a good spot in our yard for it, so we are re-gifting it to farmer Bill.  It should be a fun day.

I know Squam is happening now, and I blame that for my lack of work this weekend.  I am there in spirit.  Liz is there for real!  LUCKY!

How are all of you?  Any good things this fall that you would like to share?

Behind. Always.

The school year is underway, and I am already behind.  I know many of you are shocked by those words.  You are thinking, “Behind, already?”  Yes.  Always.

Having an extra four credits, and the configuration of how my classes fall have me scrambling to correct homework from dusk ’till dawn and vice-versa.  I have come to the conclusion that I may give too much homework.  Too much for ME that is.  I have been pretty good about a one-day turn-around.  I have only been late once.  I am excited to have a weekend to catch up, although I haven’t even started to try to catch up yet.  That is next on my “to do” list.  This post was number one.  It has been too long….again.

I am teaching three sections of the higher of the two reading classes that are below college level.  These are the students who will move to Freshmen Comp. after they pass my class, IF they pass my class.  I have one class that meets for two hours Monday and Wednesday, one class that meets for two hours Tuesday and Thursday and one class that meets for 50 minutes Monday, Tuesday, Thursday and Friday.  I never know when I am going to see them again and say “See you tomorrow,” only to have them to say, “No, you won’t.”  I am sure I will get used to it, but I just tell them to correct me and move on.  I may never get it.

I have REALLY great classes this semester!  I know that I have begun the semester different than in the past.  With compassion and understanding, but with the bar set high.  I have been talking about professionalism and how college is preparation for those careers that they want.  I am their boss for now.  It has helped.  I only have one real behavior problem, and I have spoken to her directly.  We shall see if it turns around next week.  I also talked to the boy she distracts constantly.  I told him not to let “other students” distract him, and to move if they are.  He understood exactly who I meant, and assured me that he would.  I hope he does.  The people around this disruptive student seem to be getting sucked in and she is getting their attention away from what I am teaching.  I need to talk to the others as well, it is on my list for next week.  The class as a whole does great.  I think that this class will be able to ignore and look down upon her distraction.  When her phone rang (three times!  LOUD.  Bbbbrrrringgggg!!)  and I stopped the rest of the class was irritated as well.  I am encouraged by that, and dumbfounded at the blatant behaviors that this student is exhibiting in the first four days of class!

So, all in all, I am excited for this semester.  I have had such a positive response from so many students already.  My first assignment is always to email me.  This was harder this year since I had 75 students to reply to.  But I did it!  Many of them replied to my reply to answer my questions and to tell me that they are learning a lot already.  Oh, that is such great feedback.  Especially at the beginning of the semester when you have people adding and dropping and coming and going.  It feels so much like a three-ring-circus that I always question if I am even making any sense.

Tuesday is when my kids begin their school year.  I can’t wait.  The divided attention of worrying about them and trying to keep up with my job is exhausting.  When they are in school, I will be able to focus on my work so much more.  We went to back to school night on Thursday and it was so great to see everyone.  All three of my kids are VERY ready to go back to school.  In fact, today we will be going school clothes shopping.  They are excited to do that, and are watching me type, so we can go.  I guess that will have to move up on the list.  Then I can focus on my work.

I hope all of you are doing well.  My head is too full to even ask a good question, so just tell me something in the comments.  I have missed you!!  I haven’t even read any blogs for two weeks, so I am behind on that as well.  Maybe this weekend I will catch up on everything!!

xo

The countdown has begun

The last two weeks have been a whirl-wind for me.  I had one more road-trip for my Grandma’s birthday to get through, one two-day training, and then wow, school was starting REALLY SOON.  I had high expectations about planning out every hour of my course this summer, but as usual that didn’t happen.  There is a reason I am not able to work in the summer:  I have three kids.  This summer seemed to fly by.  We were so, so busy.  And here I am almost ready for the first day of school.  It doesn’t seem like it has been that long from the last day of school.

I feel a bit more prepared than ever because this is the first time I am not teaching something for the first time.  I taught this course last semester, although not well.  I am hoping that this semester I will be able to solidify some activities as a skeleton, and then I can pick and choose around that skeleton next semester and beyond.  I have my course laid out on the calendar, and I have my first week *almost* all the way done–even the copies.  I dragged my sick kids with me to school again yesterday to find my classrooms and pick up some stuff that needs to be collated before Monday.  I am re-reading the chapters and figuring out which essays to read.  My course home-pages are up to date and ready.

I have had all three kids complain that I am working too much.  But I don’t really mind.  I know that this is good for me.  This makes me think and I really love it.  I am modeling to them what it looks like to love your job,  and how to have a career.  I still believe, for me, that the best way to parent was to stay home with my kids when they were too little to be in school.  I don’t regret that, not even a little bit.  But I did give up my whole self in order to do that.  It was isolating and lonely and I had no real stimulation in the brain area.  It was such a hard job.  Now I can tell them about my day and show them what it is like to be passionate about something.  How to have a good work ethic, and how to over-come your fears and deal with mistakes.  Last year was not easy.  I am sure this year will not be easy either.  I just hope it isn’t quite as hard as it was last year.  I hope my going back to work gives my children something to strive for when they become adults.  They already want to help me do my stuff.  And some things they get to do, like stuff folders and sort papers.

The hardest part about going back to work is that my kids don’t go back until after Labor Day.  That gives me three weeks where I have to piece-meal childcare and worry about how everyone is doing.  I have one kid who has an ear infection.  (We were at the doctor at 8:30 on Wednesday night taking care of that.)  And one kid who has strep throat.  (We went in for a quick strep test yesterday because we were on day three of a sore throat, but had no fever, swollen glands, or redness in her throat.  It came back positive this morning.)  (Sarah and I just have colds so far.)  All of the sickness doesn’t help my worrying.  Divided attention is hard to have when beginning a semester.  Once they are in school, everything will be so much easier.  I won’t have to rush around getting them to a sitter in the morning and rush off right after work to pick them up.  I will have time to linger over my students and their work.  And MY work too!

I can’t believe that summer is over and that another school year is underway.  Are all of you feeling the autumnal pull as well?

*Special congratulations to Willow and Christina.  They are both coming upon great and exciting changes in their lives and I cannot be more happy for them!!

And, we’re home.

I can’t believe it has been THREE WEEKS since my last post.  We have had so much to do and so many places to be that I don’t really know where to start.  And the photos.  I don’t know if I have the energy to deal with them.  We shall see if I get a second wind by the time I am done writing.

I guess I will start with my embarrassment of a misspelled word.  The title of a recent post (if you can still call it recent…) had the word helicopter spelled with two “L’s”.  I didn’t notice it, and a new person who had never commented before commented, but ONLY about the misspelled word and the irony that it followed the word literacy.  There haven’t been many people who comment here, very few that I don’t know.  Today I had two.  One of which was a reprimand.  I am so embarrassed, and I feel so stupid.  I know I have told you before how spelling and I are not great friends.  I try hard to get along, but spelling is just mean.  There are  many words that look fine to me, but are wrong.  Thank goodness Spell-check is a good friend.  There is no spell-check in the title area.  I have re-read the title for this post several times to make sure it is all spick and span.  I hope that it is.  So, my apologies.

So, let’s see where did my life leave off….Black Raspberries.  Wow.  That was a while ago.  Here is what has been happening around here:

1.  Sarah turned TEN.  Double digits.  She had a party at the lake with all of her friends.  It was so fun, and easy.  I recommend it.

2.  We went to a cabin up north with my sister and her family and three of my niece’s friends.  The kids had a blast swimming in the lake, riding on the back of a jet ski, jumping on the water trampoline, and paddle-boating.  (Oh, and eating s’mores by the fire pit).  The cabin was really a luxury home that is owned by my brother-in-law’s boss.  It was bigger than  two of my house.  I read the second and third books in the Hunger Games series and enjoyed them.  I also began knitting a kitchen towel that I love.

3.  My uncle died of Alzheimer’s Disease.  It was time, but geez.  It still seems like he should still be here.  We went back to Walnut Grove to go through the museum.  We stayed over night and the kids were fishes.  My uncle was such a kind man.  He always was in a good mood and had a smile on his face.  I am still kind of in denial.  He was 75.  My grandmother was out of it.  She didn’t appear to be grieving at all.  My aunt suffers from schizophrenia, and was deeply troubled by my uncle’s death.  She is in a wheel chair and has a lot of mobility issues.  Jeff and my sister’s husband and I were assigned to help her in and out of the car and drive her to the luncheon and back.  Holy moly.  This was a job.  The service was held at the cemetery at my grandfather’s grave site.  It was a perfectly beautiful day.  Not too hot, not chilly, but very sunshiny.  The cemetery had very uneven grounds with little hills and holes all over.  The wheel chairs were not the four-wheeling type.  Trying to get them to the site was hard enough, but trying to get my 200+ pound aunt back into the car was almost impossible.  She would get scared and scream, and then go limp like a toddler, screaming, “I’m going to FALLLLLL!!!”  Jeff and my brother-in-law worked at getting her in and pushing and I was in the car pulling.  We did it, but it was SO HARD.  And she was so upset, understandably.   We all felt awful for her and were sympathetic and loving, but good god.  PLUS, she couldn’t lift her feet while we pushed her chair…so I had to bend down and hold her feet up while someone else had to push/pull her around.  I really felt like we were on candid camera.  You can picture it can’t you?  It did bring some comic relief, but holy hannah…never again.

4.  We went up north to Brainerd this past week.  Sunday to Thursday.  We stayed in the hotel part of a resort called Cragun’s.  It was such a fun trip.  All three kids and my niece water-skied for the first time, and went tubing.  They, again, were fishes in the indoor pool on Monday and Tuesday when the weather didn’t cooperate, and at the beach and at the outdoor pool the last two days.  I played cards with my mom, and went swimming in the pools.  We ate out all meals except for breakfast, which ROCKED.  We took this trip to celebrate my parent’s upcoming 50th Wedding Anniversary.  FIFTY YEARS.  WOW.  Jeff fished and golfed, as did Sarah.  A fun time was had by all, but I am glad to be home and have some down time.  We only have one more road-trip, and it is just for the day.  My grandmother is turning 1oo in a week.  Can you believe THAT?  So we shall be partying with her!

5.  I am tired.  I WANT to do pictures, but I am going to bed instead.  Bad.  Blogger.

6.  What have you been up to?

It’s Black Raspberry Time!

 

Jeff has been picking handfuls of berries while out on his runs for the past week.  I don’t stop on my runs, because I may never start again, but I have been surveying the berry patch since we picked strawberries in June.  Yesterday, one of my best friends from College invited us over to her house because she has a HUGE black raspberry patch in her backyard.  We picked for two hours.  I brought home A LOT of berries!  YUM!

And the best part?

Muffins!  (Recipe here, from Joy the Baker.)

In other wildly exciting news, my baby got her ears pierced!  Sarah will be 1o next Tuesday, so my mom’s gift was the ear-piercing.  She is over the moon and was so brave.  Now she is obsessed with her ears.  “Time to do my ears mommy!”  I don’t do ears.  She takes care of it perfectly.

 

One last thing:

Let’s talk about The Hunger Games, by Suzanne Collins, shall we?  First of all I have heard about this book.  I have heard how addictive it is and how everyone loves it.  When it was suggested for my bookclub, I was really excited!  I wanted to read it, and I love books that suck you right in there and you can’t get out.  I really didn’t know what I would be sucked into though.  I could NOT put this book down, and when I did, all I did was think about it.  I thought it was perfectly paced and so full of suspense…so well written.  The subject matter was disturbing, and brutal.  I, of course, thought too much about it.  Especially with the way politics in our country is so polarized.  It isn’t hard to imagine it breaking apart because those who have been entrusted to uphold the value of compromise have come to the conclusion that compromise is a form of weakness.  Without compromise, in my opinion, we get dictatorship.  Isn’t that what the “my way or the highway” is all about?  This is a glimpse into the future, where there is no compromise.  There is only one way.  The leaders of this new world are all-powerful.  Human lives are a game to them.  I am not sure I liked this book.  However, I will be buying the next two books in this series.  I am completely sucked into this story.  It makes you think, it makes you worry.  I think it might be an important book to read, in order to avoid this future all together.

Do you have anything to add?

Four Things

First.

Look how pretty!   Flowers from our garden that I cut last night.  Love!

Second.

I just got back from my “run.”  I am sweating all over the key board and my legs feel like taffy.  I don’t know how much I have updated about this but I have been pretty good about getting up to walk/run, I have been at it for about five weeks.  But yesterday, SUNDAY, it was raining at 5:00 AM which is when I usually get up.  I used this as a free pass, as I am wont to do.  Never mind that when I woke up at 7:00, I had NOTHING STOPPING ME from going then.  So, today is the day I add a minute of running and decrease a minute of walking.  Today was run 6 minutes/walk 4 minutes (x4).

Oh, my god.  You know, or maybe you don’t, that the first half of my run is down hill.  Which logic would tell you that the second half of my run, when I am running home, is up hill.  I knew it was going to be tough today when running down hill was hard.  How is that hard?  Gravity is doing the work…I just have to lift up my feet.  I have been priding myself that I was over the pathetic ugly run look.  You know, the kind when people see you run by and think, “Oh, that poor thing.  She looks like she is going to collapse any second.”  They wouldn’t be surprised if suddenly instead of “running” I would be crawling down the street.  So.  The hills coming home?  Yeah.  They kicked my ass.  And I smell.  Eww.  Thank goodness there are few people up at that ungodly hour, I am sure I would have had comments.  “You okay out there?  You look like you might need an ambulance…”  Honestly, I don’t know if I would have had the breath to answer, and if I had opened my mouth the sweat that was pouring down my face would have gotten in there.  I hate sweating.

The good thing?  It is over.  Until tomorrow.  Which will be better, I can’t fathom why, but it will be.  IT WILL BE.

Third.

I finished The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks by Rebecca Skloot.  Holy hot potato, you ALL need to read this book.  It is so interesting and appalling, and well written.  It is about racism, science, ethics…and at the heart of it:  the author and Henrietta’s family.  So good.  It is non-fiction, which is something I rarely read, but it reads like a novel.  There are technical parts, but they are relevant.  I can’t remember one time when I thought, “blah-dee-blah-blah” as I sometimes do when the information seems to be too much.  I had NO IDEA what has been (and still is) going on within the topic of research in medicine.  I don’t know if it will change how I do things, but I will be reading consent forms MUCH more carefully from now on.

Fourth.

This weekend we went here:

Anyone who has read the “Little House” books by Laura Ingalls Wilder recognizes this town’s name.  Walnut Grove.  I LOVE that name for a town.  (I also love Sleepy Eye…which is out that way as well.)  Jeff decided to surprise our kids, but mostly Sarah, who is INTO Laura and has been since last summer.  Every July Walnut Grove (don’t you love it too?) has a pageant that they put on which is basically a play about the life of Laura while she lived in Walnut Grove.  It is about a two and a half hour drive from here.  My grandma lives about 8 miles from Walnut Grove, so we went to see her, briefly, and then went to the Walnut Grove community center for dinner.  It was a good church lady dinner with hot turkey sandwiches, chips, coleslaw and pie.  (The kids all had hot dogs, and they totally missed out!)

We had about an hour to kill before the pageant, so we drove to the museum.  We spent some time in the gift shop and bought some stuff for each kid, but the museum was closing in five minutes, so we put that on our list of “to do” next time when we are there.  The best part?  The covered wagon:

Yes, of course my girls dressed up.  The sad part is that the dress that Sarah found on Ebay (for $10!!) is now too small for her.  And Katie’s dress that she had was too small for her.  I didn’t know this, of course, until the DAY we were leaving.  So, we had to improvise.  Katie got Sarah’s dress, Sarah took Katie’s apron and bonnet, and we went to Walmart when we got to town. (We stayed in Redwood Falls…I also love that name!)  So, Sarah is sporting a retro circa 1972 spaghetti strapped number with her apron and bonnet.  It was the best we could do.  She didn’t seem to care, the bonnet and the apron were what she was concerned about.

When they were done in the covered wagon, heading west, we got back in the car to head on over to the sight of the dugout.

You know what else I love?  I love the name “Plum Creek” which is where the Dug Out was located, on the banks of Plum Creek.  Why don’t we have more names like this in the city?

You can see the sign in the back there at the top of the hill.  There is a path that goes down on the left of the site of the Dug Out which is where  all the lush green leaves are on the ground.  I thought the Dug Out was still intact, and I think Sarah did too, so it was a little disappointing not to be able to go inside.

After the Dug Out, we went to the pageant!  Oh!  It was good.

Here come the Ingalls, all the way from Illinois:

The play was fabulous.  I loved the set and the props.  Here is the house.  It is just like a real life-sized doll house:

The play started at 9:00 PM and got over at 11:00.  Then, of course, we had to get autographs from all of the cast members.  Even Nellie Olson.  We got back to the hotel and tried to calm down our three crazy, over-tired children who all had to share a double bed.  I think I turned the light out at 1:00 AM.

The next morning we went to breakfast, and then spent the remaining time in the pool.  Such a fun get away.

When I was little, I used to hate driving in the country.  My other grandma lived in Ortonville which is on the very eastern border of Minnesota.  You know where there is a little notch?  Right there.  We drove for almost four hours to get to her house.  That is a lot of corn and cows to see.  Now?  I love it.  It is so beautiful, with the gentle rolling hills, the green, green fields, and the cows are one of my favorite parts!  But my very favorite part?  The barns.  Oh, I love the barns.  I want one.  The old weathered wood.  The big doors.  They are just majestic.  Jeff shared his favorite barn with me on this trip.  He had never shared it before, which is weird because his family comes from Tracy which is maybe another 10 miles from Walnut Grove.  He even pulled over so I could take a picture:

Isn’t it beautiful?  Yes, the roof is caving in…but it is such a non traditional barn.  And I love the sheep too.

How was your weekend?

On College, literacy, helicopter parenting, and YA books

June was the month of rain.  It rained, and rained and rained.  And it was so cold it felt more like March than June.  The good part about rainy days?  I tend to want to curl up with something to read.  Whether it is a book, an article, the paper, my homework, or the computer, I just feel like soaking in words.

It all started when I was at class.  Our instructor told us about an article in the New Yorker titled, “Live and Learn:  Why We Have College” and encouraged us to read it.  Well, thanks to Willow, I subscribe to the New Yorker!  I went home and read it.  It was fascinating.  Louis Menand discusses in-depth the two (or three) theories of why we need college:

Theory 1:  To sort people into the correct categories, and to assign degrees accordingly.  College people are people who jump through the hoops and graduate.  They get the good jobs.  They are the “select” population. 

Theory 2:  To teach people.  To create an educated society.  College people will learn the same types of things and will learn the appropriate behaviors that are necessary in a civilized democratic society.

These are vastly different views, but Menand argues that it could be a blend of both.  His argument is that college is worthwhile, and should be available to anyone.  (He is more of a Theory 2 person.)  However, there should be standards to which the students should be held accountable.  He discusses this while citing Professor X’s articles in the Atlantic:  In the Basement of the Ivory Tower and An Anti-College Backlash?  This Professor X goes on to discuss why he believes (quite strongly) that not everyone is suited to earn a college degree.

Since my students are the same type students that Professor X teaches, I found what he had to say quite interesting.  He is definitely a Theory 1 person.  He is emphatic that there are many, many people who are not “cut out” for college.  I will admit that this would be an easy Kool Aid for me to drink.  However, what it did instead was to force me to ask myself why I teach.  Why did I teach Kindergarten?  There were never arguments that Kindergarten wasn’t for everyone.  And now, why do I teach these college students who fail their placement exams?  A paycheck is not why.  I discovered what I already knew.  I am a Theory 2 person.  I am teaching so that everyone has the opportunity to have a better life.  So we have a more literate world.  Words are Power.  Without the ability to read (which means TO UNDERSTAND WRITTEN SYMBOLS) there is no ability to evaluate any aspect of life.  What doctor you should see,  who you should vote for, if your insurance covers everything it needs to, how to fill out a job application, write a resume, if the advertisements are telling the truth, if you should sign consent forms, how to apply for a loan….I could go on.  Being literate, whether you have a degree or not, is required in my brain.  Required.  If you are not literate, you have given up controlling your destiny.  You just exist.

Now, I know you can listen to amazing things and learn things from listening.  TED talks have very inspirational lectures.  There is a show called “Midmorning” that I love that is on every morning.  And I have linked to a show “Being” that talks about Democracy.  So, yes, you can learn without reading and writing.  There is also learning by doing.  Hands on things like building and fixing and creating.  But, in order to be in control of your life, my opinion is that being literate is required.

This brings me to one of the questions that I brought up a while back:

How do I make sure that I am teaching the content of the course at the level the course was designed, and teach within the zone of proximal development, meeting each student where they are and providing the scaffolding to the next incremental step in order to provide the best possible instruction?

Also?  How do I make sure all of my students have improved their reading ability whether they pass my class or not?

So, that is one area that my brain is stuck.  Then, I was listening to Midmorning another day and Kari Miller (who I love) was interviewing Lori Gottlieb about the article she wrote for The Atlantic:  How to Land Your Kid in Therapy.  It was such a great discussion about how there is a balance between doing everything for your children and letting them figure out some stuff themselves.  Including how to fail.  Which is hard to let your kids do.  Especially for me.  (This is why I try to ignore them as much as possible, then I am not micro-managing.)  It is much easier to learn to fail when it isn’t a big deal, than it is when a job opportunity is on the line.  But there is that tugging at the back of your brain…my kids are interested in (insert wonderful educational opportunity here) and there is a three-week camp on that very subject….of course we will sign up for it!  And for this other wonderful opportunity too…and this one!  Pretty soon they have no days to figure out how to entertain themselves, what to do when they feel bored….how to make up a game, or pretend something of their own imagination.  I will tell you it is a struggle for me sometimes to say, we are doing enough.  No piano lessons.  (And DENY them the opportunity!  Bad, bad parent!)  So, as I was making MAJOR connections to my own life and my own kids, I was also thinking about Professor X.  He said that there are work places that require people to get credits in order to advance in their jobs.  He doesn’t cite (that I can remember) what jobs, they very well could be positions that require people to be able to put good sentences together and to read well enough to not mess stuff up, but he made it sound like these jobs wouldn’t require such basic things.  Is this another form of hovering?  If people are perfectly capable of fixing an air conditioner without being able to write an essay, why are we requiring them to write an essay in order to advance in an air conditioner-repair job?  Is our society moving in this direction?  I still think that everyone should be able to communicate with writing and be able to read, but how far should the requirement go?  So, yes  I still believe that being literate is required in order to live your best life and have control over your own destiny.  But, how literate?  Where does one draw the line?  How do you decide where it is literate “enough?”

And then, of course there was the Wall Street Journal article, “Darkness too Visible” by Meghan Cox Gurdon.  I didn’t see this until Sam posted Sherman Alexie’s rebuttal on Facebook:  “Why the Best Kid’s Books are Written in Blood.”  There were two segments on midmorning regarding this topic of censorship, what is appropriate for teens, and how to deal with the maturing audience that is YA.  One is short and one is a whole hour.  When I thought about the body books that I hid under my bed because I thought they were a bit too graphic for Sarah…they discussed eating disorders in great detail, and cutting…neither of which she has any idea about.  I thought, “Oh, geez.  Am I for censorship?”  Is this another way we hover?  But then, The Diamond in the Window, being awesome as she always is, let me know how I really felt.  And the longer mid morning also spoke of how thirteen year olds have a different tolerance than an eighteen year old.  I have read books about many a dark thing, it doesn’t mean I am going to commit the crimes or become an addict.  But I am a parent, so it is my job to protect my children and make sure that they read what they can handle.  Cutting?  At nine?  Unless she had a friend that did it, or saw a news program or something and had questions about it….then no.  And, is this limiting of books creating less literate people? I am still not really sure I would limit books.  If Sarah asked me if she could read a book?  I would probably warn her, but let her.  Even though I won’t let her read Harry Potter.  I know she would LOVE it.  But she would also want to read all seven books.  And, she gets too scared for the darkness that begins in book four.  Plus, I want to read it to her…selfish, that is what I am.

Now you know what has been pin-balling around in my head for the last month.  I have this feeling that all of these articles are connected, and that they mean something significant.

I tried to articulate my connections, but what I really want to know is what do you think?

Happy Birthday America!

Yesterday we had our crazy busy Fourth of July Celebration.  It true form, I forgot my camera for the first half of the day, but I remembered to bring it last night.

We had dinner at my parent’s country club.  They have been members for years, but now are only social members.  Neither one of them golf anymore, which is sad.  It is such a fun night with pony rides (!), water balloon fights, a pinata, and, of course, face painting.

My little Ninja

The band played oldies as the little boys played with their balloon swords.  Sarah wanted to be on stage and darn if she didn’t get there.

And there was the traditional dancing with daddy.

Before the fireworks Mother Nature decided to wow us with her own.

We had a great time.

How was your celebration?

UPDATED TO ADD:  Yesterday I included a link to a podcast from NPR.  The link was incorrect.  I corrected it in yesterday’s post and if you are still interested it is here.

A quick recap before the fireworks

Ooops...where is the bacon??? Mmmmm.

An excellent day today of relaxation.

I slept in because Jeff went fishing.  I have been getting up at 5 or 6 every morning to go on my walk/run and it felt so good to sleep in.  I am already to the point where I will be walking and running equal times starting tomorrow.  I always kind of dread that.  Then, the next week, I will be running more than walking.  Yuck.  It isn’t one of my favorite things, but I am doing it anyway.  Mind over matter.  (And, hopefully, some of the matter will go away.)

I skimmed the paper this morning, and noted that all of the politicians are still blaming each other and acting like children.  There wasn’t anything striking about that.  I made my self an egg with toast and my lovely husband made  me a piece of bacon.  The bacon was from the Farmer’s Market.  It was the best bacon ever.  Then I did a bit of work:  sent Evites to my colleagues for  a baby shower that I am hosting, emailed a few people who I have been neglecting… you know.  Then….I went to get my best friend’s dogs.  We will have them until Tuesday.  They are Franklin’s sisters.

After that I read.  I read, and read, and read.  Katie and Nicholas were outside playing in the blow-up pool.  Jeff went to meet my sister half-way between Iowa and here to get Sarah.  She didn’t want to be gone for the fourth of July celebration.  It was quiet.  The dogs napped.  I am still fascinated by The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks.  In fact, I need to get back to it!

Tonight our city has their big Fireworks celebration.  We will walk up to our neighborhood park to watch.  Tomorrow will be crazy with lunch at Jeff’s parents, the parade, dinner with my parents, and then more fireworks.  I am kind of dreading it.  Especially because today was so blissfully calm.  I need to make potato salad and cut up fruit in the morning for our lunch.  So I will be running all day.  The kids LOVE the busy-crazy-fun-filled-day.  I need to borrow some of their enthusiasm.  I hope we get good seats at the parade and I also hope that the parade doesn’t exceed an hour and a half.  Some years it goes on FOREVER.  And, we are gearing up for  an election…in 18 months…so I my hope might be dashed.

Today in the car I was listening to NPR, “Being,” which was formerly “Speaking of Faith.”  I only heard the last 10 minutes or so, but it was so powerful.  Did anyone else hear it?  I need to go back and listen to the whole thing.  It is here if you are interested.  I haven’t listened yet, and I am not sure if I am going to have time today.  Let me know what you think if you decide to play along.

Time to get ready to walk to the park.  Hope your day was as amazing as mine!

UPDATED TO ADD:  The link to “Being” was incorrect.  I have corrected it!

An Artful Day

I thought I would begin by sharing some of Mother Nature’s work from last night.  We had a hot and humid day.  Sunshine so bright it hurt your eyes.  And then around dinner-time, it rained.  The sky was dark and it looked like we would be lost in a storm for the rest of the night.  But after a short rain and some minor rumbling, the sun came out as it set.  The light was tangible.  There is no way I could capture it with my lack of photography skills, but I still tried.

So, taking the inspiration from the master herself, (and it may have had a wee bit to do with the reading of Laini’s blog…)  we decided to visit Simply Jane.  Simply Jane is a drop in painting studio for families, or anyone who wants to paint.  I read all about it this winter, and wanted to go, but alas…work.  Too much to do.  But today…perfect for painting.  Since Sarah was in Iowa, it was just the four of us.  I didn’t bring my camera to the studio, but I wish I would have.  It was so cute!  We all sat at the same table and picked out our own projects.  Jeff and I went for the blank canvas boards, while Katie painted the frame to a mirror and Nicholas picked a fierce dragon.

Here is Jeff’s finished 5×5 ( I think) canvas board.  Before we left, he went out to the garden and took some pictures with his iphone.  The boy can paint can’t he?  I told him he needed to do three more so I have a group of them to hang on the wall.  Man, I love that he is an artist at heart.

Here is Katie’s mirror.  The black lines were drawn for her.  But she chose the colors, and then went back over with a sharpie when she was done painting.  She also shellacked her finished product so it wouldn’t chip.  I believe this is a wooden piece.

And this is the fierce dragon that Nicholas designed.  It is probably 5×12.  Again, the black lines were drawn in for him.  Both Katie and Nicholas chose the ones that had lines, I let them choose what they wanted that was $20 or less.  Jeff and I, of course didn’t have lines.

My painting is unfinished.  Everyone else was done, and I wasn’t even close.  I asked if I could bring it back with me the next time to finish.  I have wanted to make something to decorate my office at school.  My gray dull cubicle.  I also wanted it to include some inspiring quotes about reading and learning.  Of course, I couldn’t remember all of the quotes while I was there, but I googled one on Jeff’s phone.  I will bring more next time.  Here is my work-in-progress:

I have a whole lot left to do, and I don’t think I have painted anything since 7th grade.  But it was REALLY fun!  I can’t wait to bring Sarah, she will love it.  I also can’t wait to go back and work on this some more!  This may be the beginning of some new play things for me.

How was your Saturday?

Some like it Hot, others like it Freezing, I like it about 80.

Today is hothothot again.  So different than last week when we were clad in sweatshirts and drowning in rain.  We longed to see the sun, and now?  We are hiding inside with the air conditioning AND fans blowing.  We had two days this week of *perfect* weather.  Low humidity, sun and 80 degrees.  Bliss.  Heaven.  But we are back on the fringes of extreme again.  It is amazing how the weather affects the mood, isn’t it?  I just want to lie down in front of a vent and sleep.  This heat zaps my energy.

It seems like everything zaps my energy lately.  The motivation is low and has been since work ended.  We have been working on Katie’s room bit by bit, but that is all.  So much to do, and I am ignoring it.  I read a post by Laini yesterday that really made me think.  She talked about how we are all in charge of ourselves, and we have such little control over things that we should take charge and control what we can.  Like, eating right so we feel healthy.  And, accomplishing things so we feel competent.  It feels good when a task is accomplished, and then you are making yourself happy!  On the flip side, you can do what I have been doing…letting life just happen.  And when nothing happens, oh, well.  So, the goal was to catch up with Laini.  I hadn’t read her new blog since the first “test” because it happened right when I went back to work for spring semester.  I never RSS-ed it, so out of sight, out of mind.  I went back and read it all this week.  I am happy to say, I am up to date now!  (She is so *awesome* and has a new book coming out soon:  The Daughter of Smoke and Bone.  I can’t wait to read it!)

This is an excellent example of the time suck that takes my attention, self-inflicted, I might add.

So, after reading her most awesome blog, I have been shamed because of my lack of writing here.  I need to get back in the habit, and I am starting today…July First.  Bear with me, because I have really nothing to say, but I am going to write anyway.  You may use this space as a sleeping aid, because I am sure it is going to be less than engaging.  I am sorry about that.  Hopefully you will keep reading on anyway.

I have begun a new book called The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks by Rebecca Skloot.  It is so good.  Wow.  Amazing.  Read this.  I am about half way right now.  Rebecca Skloot is a wonderful writer, and this is an incredible topic.  I will write more when I finish it.  My next book will be Hunger Games, from intellectual to fluff.  I love me some fluff though!  Many of you said you would read The Girl Who Fell From the Sky.  I am so excited to hear what you think!!  You are required to come back here and tell me!  Promise?  Good.

On the family front, today Sarah went with my sister and her family to Iowa for two days.  She has had sleep overs with them before, but never has she been away from home for more than 24 hours.  She was a bit nervous, but super excited.   I am feeling like my baby is growing up…she will be TEN this month!  Double Digits.  A whole decade!  I can’t really believe it.  It seems like yesterday I was SO PREGNANT and  yet NOT AT ALL READY for that new baby to come.  I remember when I began going to the doctor every week, I would say I can’t have the baby this week because we are going to dinner on Saturday night and we have movie night on Monday.  Every week I had some reason why it wasn’t a good week for the baby to come.  My doctor would smile and say, “Okay,” but I know she knew I was in for a big surprise in the near future.  (Spoiler alert:  She was RIGHT!)

Tonight we are going out to dinner.  I am so happy about that. I don’t know where we are going, but I do need to figure out what I will be wearing and I also need to tidy up, so…until next time!

What are you up to?

Summer Vacation Begins…

Well.  Summer Vacation has begun.  The kids are home.  The house is in shambles.  (Pictured above:  an abandoned fort in the family room.)  The occasional shrieks that make your heart stop are slowly becoming the norm.  We have had two play dates, several minor injuries, numerous tears, one sleepover, watched a lifetime’s worth of old Hannah Montana DVDs with occasional breaks to watch the tried and true Tom & Jerry cartoons of old.  I have outlawed DS games, ordered children outside, downstairs, upstairs…We have grooved to the summer CD that I burned, cranked up to 10, made dinner together, gone out for ice cream, and eaten all of the chocolate chip cookies that Jeff made.  It hasn’t even been a week.

Yesterday, the kids took one for the team.  The first exciting errand they were dragged to was the Vet, Franklin needed his shots.  We dropped him off at home and went to the garden store to shop for Jeff’s Father’s Day present.  I thought we would buy him a replacement rose for the one that looks dead to me that he planted last year.  We ended up buying him a rose-bush that will not need the TLC that a hybrid needs.

We ended up bringing home much more than that:

My husband’s dream is to own an apple orchard.  I think we could start out with an apple tree in our yard, don’t you?  And why not throw in some blueberries for good measure?  Our raspberries are already well on their way to becoming a pie:

I just hope it makes him happy.  I am totally excited to see what we get, and when.

After we dropped off our brand-new apple tree at home and ate lunch, we went right back to shopping.  My dad’s present needed to be purchased because the celebration dinner was scheduled for LAST NIGHT.  We found exactly what he asked for, and decided to look for Jeff’s dad as well.  Then, we went to Target to get cards.  Let’s just say we were not the only ones there buying cards.  Geez.  I love that Target has EVERYTHING.  So, we got some deodorant and some blueberries and came back home.  I promptly began making the blueberry pie.  When that was done, it was time to leave to go to dinner!  The kids were so sick of shopping by the end.  Sarah helped me de-stem the blueberries, and wrapped my dad’s present.  He was one happy camper…blueberry pie is his favorite!

Today, I should be baking and cooking.  I have a “retreat” to go to tomorrow for my Reading Department.  I will only be gone one night, but I am still a bit nervous.  I don’t know my colleagues very well, and I just hope it goes okay.  I am bringing an egg bake and chocolate chip scones for breakfast on Saturday morning, and some water and cheese and crackers for snacks, oh, and um, some cheetos.  I really don’t know what to pack to wear.  It will shock you to hear that I am avoiding doing any packing or baking right now.  Somehow, it will be done before tomorrow.

The reason this trip was planned was because one of my colleagues suggested beginning a bookclub with our department and it turned into a weekend retreat.  The book we read is called The Girl Who Fell From the Sky, by Heidi Durrow.  I really enjoyed this book.  It is set in the 1980′s and is about the ramifications of moving from Europe to the United States as a mixed race child.  I could hardly put the book down, and it is still with me during the quiet moments of the day.  I am excited to talk about it tomorrow, if we do.  I think the “bookclub” part might have been forgotten, unfortunately.  I would certainly recommend this book to anyone.  I would love to hear what you all think!

I am sorry I haven’t written more frequently.  I don’t really understand it myself, I have time.  It just doesn’t feel like I have much to say.  Do you ever feel that way?  I know it is part of being in the habit of writing.  I should do a little “write a post every day” for a week or two.  I know when I do that I am amazed at how much I habitually miss when I am not writing.

I would love to hear what you are thinking about today!

Melting

The distant ball of fire

Radiates heat

Beating down from the heavens.

Our skin becomes slick,

Shiny.

Fatigue sets in.

Drops roll down

The highway of our spinal column.

The air is still,

Thick,

Wet,

As we braise in our own sweat.

The dog’s tongue lolls

Out of his mouth.

The babes, whining and squirming,

Demand popsicles.

The Furnace,

Alone,

Broken,

Waits for its motor to be fixed.

The Air Conditioner,

Impatient yet

Gratified,

Is sorely

MISSED.

 

Brain Dump

Summer has finally arrived here in Minnesota.  I am not really sure we had an actual spring, we went from long-sleeved shirts under sweatshirts to tank tops and shorts.  Yesterday’s weather was PERFECT.  Sunny and 80.  NO RAIN and no tornado warnings.  Unfortunately, I didn’t have time to enjoy it.  Well, that isn’t exactly true, I did have a baseball game over lunch to sit outside and love the weather.  The rest of the day and night was devoted to dance recitals.  I am happy to be done with them, and I think today’s weather is going to be a repeat of yesterday.  I will be outside reading my textbook and doing my homework for Tuesday.  I am taking a class called “The 20-course make-over challenge” at school.  It is based on a new taxonomy by L. Dee Fink (contrasted with Bloom’s Taxonomy).  I am hoping that it will bring clarity and consistency to my course for next semester.  The best part?  It will FORCE me to build my course over and it is FREE.  The worst part?  It is at school, where people know me, and I feel vulnerable.  I really wear my heart on my sleeve, and I am very honest when I feel like I am not teaching to my potential.  I really don’t want anyone to think I am not competent, even though that is how I feel many days.   I also don’t want to hide my confusion, I want to ask all of my dumb questions and have discussions about effective teaching at the college level.  I have decided to tread carefully and to be SUPER prepared for class so I look smart.

This week is the last week of school for the kiddos.  They are excited, and I am sort of dreading having them home all day every day.  It has been nice to send them off to be entertained every morning.  After school is over, I am the entertainment.  I am not that entertaining.  So, we will begin with a list of what our summer plans are and go from there.  I want to go to the Science Museum and see the King Tut exhibit.  Jeff’s parents have already taken the kids over their spring break when I was working.  Katie is scared of mummies.  She may just have to suck it up and take one for the team.  Either that or I will dump her off at a friend’s house while we go.  (Is that bad?)  That is the only thing I have my heart set on, but I am doing some digging to see if there are any plays we can see (matinees) and then there is the beach and the pool.  I also want to check out some “drop in” art for kids places.  I have a few that I have heard about, and they sound really cool.  (Maybe they would let me play too?)

My other job this summer is to get the kid’s rooms cleaned out (oh, and mine too).  I am hoping that my whole house can be cleaned out.  PURGED.  We have so much stuff that needs to leave this house.  That will make EVERYONE feel better.  I also need to re-commit myself to a healthy lifestyle.  I have completely reverted back to NOT CARING about anything.  I have only walked once, and my eating is nothing close to healthy.  I have half-heartedly started by buying some of the old groceries with less fat, and trying to eat fruit.  However, I need to do more than try.  The exercise is getting to emergency status.  I really need to come up with plans for both of these things and stick to them.  It will make me feel better, I know that.  It is just that these two aspects of my life are not enjoyable to me at all.  I dread both.  Half the battle is turning my attitude around.  I need a goal.  And a deadline!  That is my motivation.

On a positive note, I finished my Theory and Practice:  6+1 Traits of Writing book and it was very worthwhile.  I needed more clarity for the 6 Traits.  I think it will be a great benchmark for me to use with my students to evaluate what they are reading, and for me to evaluate their writing.  I am still a bit unclear about how to grade their writing though.  I assign reflection papers for every essay they read.  I want them to write about their thoughts, connections, questions, inferences etc.  I don’t want to make this into a LONG assignment.  Just a quick free-write and then I would like them to draw some conclusion.  It is, to me, part of metacognition.  I want to see what is going on in their heads.  However,  many of my students have difficulty putting a sentence together.  I need standards for their papers, even though I want it to be open-ended.  The majority of my students do exactly what I expect, but the quality goes down as the semester goes on.  I am hoping that this book and the rubrics can help me put teeth into the assignment without making these papers too formal.

I also have read the paper every day.  I have missed this ritual.  I love that quiet time and knowing what is going on in the world without saying to someone, “WHAT happened?”  And having them look at me like I lived under a rock.  (Which I do.)  I also found this for Lizardek:

Hope your week has gone well!

The sex talk that came too soon (for me)

It has been such a wonderful week!  I have been L-A-Z-Y catching up on my TiVo, reading the paper, and having hot chocolate for breakfast every morning.  I have soaked up the quiet after the kids have gone to school, and I met friends for lunch as well.  I have not picked up a novel, on purpose, because I know I will get lost in it.  Instead I have begun: Theory and Practice:  6+1 Traits of Writing.  So far, it isn’t great, but I haven’t really started chapter one yet, only the forward.  I hope it is good, because my students need help with their writing.  And that is an understatement.  Maybe it will help my own writing… you will have to let me know if suddenly I am writing with clarity and good organization.  I have read two other books as well:

Oops.  I see that my purple fuzzy socked toe got in the picture.  Sorry about that.  Ahem.  Yes.  I gave Sarah THE BOOKS.  Which means Katie and Nicholas also have access to them.  I would highly recommend both of these books.  They are age appropriate, and very thorough.  Sarah has definitely begun some body changes:  She NEEDS deodorant, she is wearing a training bra, she has had a few zits, her hair is greasy if she “forgets” to shower, and the other day she asked, “Why do I have hair under my arms?”  And I answered, “You don’t.”  Unfortunately, she came up with proof.  She is only NINE.  That seems WAY TOO EARLY to be worrying about this.  I can totally empathize with my mom and her choice to pretend it wasn’t happening (as far as I can remember).  I never had a book, except Are You There God, It’s Me Margaret by Judy Blume which doesn’t really give you the nitty-gritty on the subject.  These two books?  FULL of the nitty and the gritty.  Including S-E-X.  I would have been just fine if the author didn’t include how the sperm got to the egg, however, before Sarah even got to that part she asked that very question:  “Mommy, how does the sperm (which she couldn’t pronounce correctly…it came out like “serm”) get to the egg?”  Thank goodness I could just say, “Keep reading…” and I didn’t have to explain penetration….ewww.  We had some tears last night in a scene right out of a soap opera:  “I don’t want to grow up!”  I told her she wasn’t grown up, and just because you get your period that doesn’t mean you are grown up either.  You have to graduate from college and get a real job and move out of the house before you are a grown up.  Right?  Right.  That seemed to make her feel better.  I am sure when she is 13 it will just make her furious.

The best part of this whole uncomfortable mess is watching Jeff squirm.  We went to see the movie HOP yesterday, and the It’s So Amazing book (aka:  the sex book) came along with us.  We were about half way there, Sarah asks, “How do you say e-r-e-c-t-i-o-n?”  I thought Jeff was going to swerve right off the road.  I did my fair share of squirming as well.  When she got to the part about sex, she said to me, “Why would anyone do that?”  I have no idea what I said, if anything.  Then she said, “Have YOU done that?!!”  and I said, “….uh, ….” and then she said “Why would you DO THAT?”  and I said, “Uh, to have a baby I guess…”  and then she said, “So you did it THREE TIMES?!!”  And I just agreed.  She doesn’t need to know EVERYTHING does she?

Celebration! and a Tribute to Oprah Winfrey

Today I was up with the birds. I got my rather large back-side out of bed and out the door for the first walk of 2011.  I know.  Lame.  But I did it.  It has been haunting me every morning since I finished out my first year back to work.  That’s right! I survived!  How blessed I have been to be offered the opportunity to help make the world a more literate place, and to help students who strive for a better life step closer to that accomplishment.

I have learned so much this year, that I can’t really describe my transformation.  All of it is jumbled inside my head.  But what I see clearly are the questions.  Here are the top three as of right now:

1. How do I make sure that I am teaching the content of the course at the level the course was designed, and teach within the zone of proximal development, meeting each student where they are and providing the scaffolding to the next incremental step in order to provide the best possible instruction?  (I already know the answer, it is next to impossible, but I want to figure it out so it isn’t impossible!)
2. How to I provide incentive for students to read widely?  Volume is what matters in terms of becoming a better reader.  How on earth can I make this happen?  I already assign A LOT of homework.
3. How do I deal with my conflicting feelings of teaching personal accountability and being as supportive as I can?  Whenever I draw a line that can’t be crossed, I feel like it is an arbitrary forced rule.  I feel like it is almost a game.  This makes me so uncomfortable, but I also need to be fair to everyone.  Where should this line be?

There are more, many more, but these are them most pressing in this moment.  Feel free to give advice.  I may just see what I need to see in your thoughts.

Last night we watched who won on American Idol.   (My whole family liked both of the finalists so we were happy that Scotty won and sad that Lauren didn’t.  We were hoping for a tie.  I want to go on record to let everyone know that I called that fact that they were together before the kissing last night.)  After we shooed the kids to bed (late) I watched Oprah’s final show.  I don’t really remember when I started watching The Oprah Winfrey Show.  It must have been in the ’90s.  All I know is that her show has always been woven into the fabric of my life.  When I had babies she was one of my best friends.  Once my babies grew up, I had to stop watching, because many of her topics were not appropriate for young children.  I always Tivo-ed her though.  Then, if something interesting came on, I could go back and watch.  I suppose this complacency happens when you believe that something will always be there when you need it.  Somehow, someone took her off my season pass, and I hadn’t watched her show in over a year.  Until last week.  I didn’t even know this was her last season until then.  Needless to say the last week or so of shows are saved on my Tivo.  A gift of the most powerful moments on her show.

Many people may think that watching Oprah is just following the masses.  Maybe that is true, but I like to think of it as joining a community.  Her show was a connection that I made with most of my friends.  It started conversations.  Good, deep conversations.  She made me think.  She also made me read.  I have the book Simple Abundance, which changed the way I thought about gratitude.  She brought me to books through her bookclub that I never would have read.  Some that were depressing, some that were scary, some that I just didn’t like at all, and some that I treasured.  All of them stretched me.

She stretched my thinking so many times, I am not sure I can articulate how much influence she had on my life.  I remember when  Gavin de Becker was her guest.  He wrote the book The Gift of Fear.  I clearly remember how fascinating it was to hear him talk about trusting intuition.  I found myself in his description of women who talk themselves out of disliking someone because they seem nice.  I knew I always questioned my own  judgement on these matters.  I bought his book and it changed me.  It gave me permission to keep my own intuition at the forefront.  It helped me accept my feelings, and validated me.  I bought his book for each of my baby-sitters when they graduated from high-school.  I wanted them to feel their feelings and listen to their guts.  Along the same vein, I remember the guest that kept lecturing women not to let an attacker take them to a second location.  I remember when he talked about car-jacking.  He said something like, “You still have the power, you are driving.  You can make the choice to drive the car into a telephone pole.  That will attract attention and get you out of a fatal situation.”  I have never forgotten that, and I have never had to use that strategy (Thank God).  You better believe I will be teaching my kids those lessons.  I also remember her show that covered abduction.  As she was interviewing parents at a park about how safe they felt, and if they thought their kids would go with a stranger, she had a guy luring their children away with a picture of a puppy.  The kids went to find the puppy as their parents were confidently saying that they had talked to their children about strangers…they wouldn’t go.  Completely eye-opening!  It changed the way I talked to my kids about strangers.

The most powerful thing about Oprah, however, was not her safety lessons.  It was her spirituality and compassion.  She taught by example of how each of us can make a difference.  She took her show and made it into a place that has truly changed the world.  She brought modern-day miracles before our eyes and challenged us to make more of them.  Her generosity and kindness radiated through the TV screen.  Last night when I sat with her alone in my family room I let her last lecture wash over me.  She spoke of the whisper of God that had guided her through out her 25 years on the air.  She talked about how The Oprah Winfrey Show began, for her, as a job that she wanted to do well.  And, how along the way, it became a calling.  She explained how that calling felt for her, and how each of us has the same calling:  to be the best of ourselves.  Somehow things easily get in the way of that calling.  I know for me, this is true.  She has inspired me, yet again, to be myself.  She has validated me, yet again, that being myself is enough.  I am enough.  I can make a difference in the lives of my family, my friends, my co-workers, my acquaintances, my students, my girl scout troop, even strangers.  And, so can you.  YOU are enough.  You can make miracles too.  All any of us need to do is to follow our passion, and be our best selves.

Thank you Oprah.  Thank you for making me better.  Thank you for your inspiration.  Thank you for being the vessel which carried amazing stories and lessons that have touched my heart through real people.  Thank you for dedicating 25 years of your life to the betterment of the world.  I will miss you.

Happy Easter!

I have been watching bad TV for the last two hours, even though I have a VERY long list of “to do.”  My accomplishments for the weekend are amazing and I am usually very self-critical.  I am tired.  I was just going to check my email and head off to bed, but then I saw a few postings that I couldn’t wait to read, and then, well I needed to wish you all Happy Easter!

I have noticed something crazy about myself.  I don’t like to begin projects, or, uh, work.  It always feels so overwhelming.  My normal self dialogue:  “Look!  Look at that HUGE stack of papers I need to correct!  Oh, and I know that TEST is in there, that is going to take me FOREVER!  I am going to go eat some chocolate ice cream instead.”  (This is the equivalent to plugging your ears and yelling “LALALALALA!”)  I do this incessantly.  However, once I start my work, it seems like I can’t stop.  PLUS?  I get irritated when I am interrupted.  Grumpy too.  And Crabby.  You all know that I have three kids, a husband, and a little white yappy dog, right?

This weekend has been all about the starting:  “Oh, my goodness.  I REALLY don’t want to correct those tests.  I have to make up a rubric to go with it!  And!  I have to actually DO THE TEST in order to correct it.  It is going to take me FOREVER.  I will never finish!  (……….)  FINE.  I will DO THE DAMN TEST.   Are you happy now???  Geez.”

And the stopping:  “Mommy!  We have to go to the store!  YOU SAID you would buy us bagels for breakfast!  We need eggs to color too!”

And the starting:  Now, where was I?

And the stopping:  “Hey woman!  We need to go drop my car off, remember?”

You get the picture.  You will be glad to know that the tests are corrected, graded and the grades are posted.  The homework for the last unit has also been graded.  I still have stuff left to go over, but nothing LATE anymore.  I can’t help but feel a bit frustrated though.  If I could START and work until I FINISHED I probably would still have the same amount of time to spend with everyone.  I spend (waste) so much time trying to figure out where I left off.  And, every time I go back I go through that same self dialogue:  “Look at that!  Yuck!  I really don’t want to do it right now…maybe I could watch TV and write a post instead?”

Yep.

Hope you all had a wonderful weekend!  Spring has sprung.  The rebirth has begun!